Episode99

IS IT A BREAK OR A BREAK UP?

What do Ross and Rachel have to do with dieting? Maybe you have been on a diet break, but really thought you had broken up. In this episode I share why you take diet breaks, why what you really need to do is break up with diets and how to know for sure that it’s really over.

We may never settle the “we were on a break!” story line from Friends, but you can have clarity on where you stand in your relationship with dieting. Take my Diet Tools Quiz today to see if you are on a break or if you have broken up.

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to the health life and more for women podcast. My name is Jennifer D’Amato a certified intuitive eating counselor, coach, mom of four, lover of all things pink, and I want you to live your best health and your best life. I believe the way we can all do that is by finally walking away from diet culture by relearning what your body needs. Reconnecting with your body’s biological signals and redefining what health is on your terms. This show will shed some light on sneaky ways diet culture has infiltrated your thoughts, your family, and your wellbeing. My heart is that no matter the episode, you walk away feeling informed, inspired, and encouraged. Let’s go.

Hey ladies, welcome to episode 99. I am so excited because this is the first episode of season three, with the intro at the beginning, if you haven’t had a chance to hear kind of the little pivot that the podcast has taken, I highly recommend just scoot back for like a quick six minute episode, episode 98 and I share all that with you. But for today, I’m going to pull from my vast sitcom knowledge for our topic today. If you’ve listened since the beginning, you’ve heard me quote Friends more than once. I mean, it is one of the best sitcoms out there. I will fight you on that if you don’t agree. One of the most iconic storylines is of course, Ross and Rachel and the breakup, you know, Ross, “we were on a break”.

They even pulled that line into the season finale. Of course they had to, because it was this contentious take sides thing, you know, where we broken up, where we just on a break and I’m sure if you’ve watched Friends, you have an opinion on that. I know I do. I actually can remember watching it the first time thinking, well, they’re not really broken up. Of course, they’re going to fight and come back together. And while we all know that wasn’t true. And clearly they both saw the break very differently. What do Ross and Rachel breaking up or on a break have to do with dieting? Have to do with you? So I want to pose this question. Are you on a diet break or have you broken up with dieting? 

Now that could be a mic drop moment for you. How do you know, how do you know if it’s just a break? I mean, imagine if we had had that kind of clarity with Ross and Rachel, like, it was so clear as day. No, that was just a break or that was definitely a break up end of relationship. P S my opinion is I don’t care if it was a total breakup, what are you doing sleeping with someone like 24 hours later? But I digress. I think we do this more often than not. That we think we’re breaking up with dieting, but really we’re taking a diet break. Now I want you to go with me on this. How many times have you dieted and then hit your breaking point?

You’ve had enough. So you’re like I’m done. And maybe there’s a part of you this that really does believe that thinks I’m done with dieting. Like you can see the writing on the wall, this isn’t working, that this relationship is toxic, that you feel worse than better. You’re just so over it. And you really believe like, oh, I’m done. But what that breakup ends up being is a diet break. You end up being drawn in, drawn in to the next diet. Maybe it’s a conversation with a coworker. Maybe it’s you got dressed that morning and just did not feel good, feel comfortable, feel confident in your clothes. So those thoughts come creeping back in.

You need to lose. You should shrink your body. You’d feel better. If you need to do this, you should be all those diet talk diet language filters through, because the reality is you didn’t break up. You were on a break. Because you did not do anything different besides hit the pause button. I mean, really that’s what it is. The diet break is a simple pause for you. You haven’t hit stop, eject, walk away. Am I I’m going back to like tape cassettes. Can you guys picture this? Am I aging myself on here or what? Now, I’m not going to lie, I think it’s really, really difficult to walk away to completely break up with dieting. And I think it’s really difficult to do that on your own. I think it’s hard to be on social media, be around coworkers, be around family when you’re feeling like the only one who’s not dieting. I mean, we’re talking about a $80 billion industry, so it’s, it’s hard to escape. That it’s hard to fully break up, but I think part of the process is acknowledging, am I on a break?

I’m going to go back in. I’m going to go back for more. It didn’t work last time, but you know, It must’ve been me. It must be something wrong with me. So I’ll try something else. Oh, this is working for them. It seems. So I’m going to go try that. I maybe I just haven’t found the right diet yet. Let me just say, if you haven’t found the right diet yet, and you’ve tried diet after diet, the first one didn’t work because they don’t work the second one third, fifth, 18th, 27th. They didn’t work because they don’t work. It’s not you. It’s not you at all, which is why I encourage a complete breakup. Now it might not be pressures from external things. The social media feed, you’re watching with people talking about weight loss, or it might not even be coworkers, family, friends talking about dieting that draws you in.

It could be the fantasy that you hold in your head. This romanticizing of dieting. This belief that it was better on the diet. So I have a few questions I’d like you to kind of think about to maybe do some journaling on or just contemplate while you’re listening to the podcast. The first one is how has dieting affected your social life? I mean, lots of be really radically honest here. Did it stop you from going out? Did it prevent you from enjoying that girl’s night out because you didn’t order what you actually wanted? Maybe you didn’t even go out at all. Okay. Next one. I want you to look at is how has dieting affected your mood and your mind? I’m not just talking about the grumpiness from not eating enough, which is pretty strong. Anyway. I mean, I can still remember the mood I was always in. Hunger hunger can cause a whole slew of emotions, but can you just take a look, take us, take a peak into how did I really feel? What was I really thinking about myself?

Lastly, in here’s a kicker, how much time, money, effort, energy have you given in the pursuit of weight loss? I know that one hurts a little bit. That one hurts personally. And I’m sure when you take some time to reflect on that, it might feel that sting you might go ouch. So I feel you I’ve been there now. You might really be at a place where you think no, Jen, I’m not just on a break. At least I don’t think I am. I really do want to break up. But how do I know? How could I get such clarity to know I’m no longer part of this system, this $80 billion industry. I’m no longer going to participate in dieting. How do I know I’ve really let go? Don’t stress, I got you. I have a very simple, concise quiz to help you identify if you are on that break or if you’ve really broken up. So what I’ve done is put together a simple quiz to help you identify, are you still holding on to dieting tools? Because I think sometimes we think those dieting tools are my fitness pal or they are trackers, measuring.

But there are so many other ways, those sneaky ways that dieting is still lingering and this quiz is going to help you identify, have I really broken up or am I really just on a break? These things are still here. I can’t fully let go. I haven’t been able to, now I want to put like a big sign here to say there is no judgment. All of my clients would probably tell you, I say this so often. There’s never judgment. This is a place for you to get curious. This is a place for you just to go. All right. I want to see, I want to know what’s lingering because then if I identify that well, I can do the work. I can decide I really do want to do a full breakup. I don’t want to just be on a break, I’m done. Other women who’ve already taken this quiz usually contact me and say something like this, “I had no idea.” Even the questions on the quiz blow them away. They really get some insight into what’s what’s still lingering. What’s hanging on and they just go I’m over it.

I’m just so over it. I don’t want to hang onto this. Again, there’s no judgment. It’s a place, it’s a place to get curious. It’s a place to start going I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t do this anymore, if I didn’t think this way, if I didn’t take this particular action, gosh, what could I do with that time energy effort? What could I do when I just felt confident in myself? What if I wasn’t always in the pursuit of weight loss? What if I finally accepted diets don’t work. There has to be another way. Well, I made it as easy as possible. I linked the quiz right in the show notes. So wherever you’re listening, pop into the show notes, click diet tools quiz.

It’ll take you right there. If you want to head directly to my website. It’s www.healthcoach4life.com/Diettoolsquiz. That’s one word diet tools quiz. I know it’s not one word, but for the ease of web site addresses, it is one word. I was someone who spent years on a break and nothing changed until I decided to fully break up. So we may never settle the debate on Ross and Rachel. Whether they had broken up or were on a break, but I do believe we can finally settle the debate for you if you’ve really broken up with dieting or if you’ve just been repeatedly on a break. So be sure to head into the show notes, click the quiz, take it, come from a place of curiosity and know that I’m on the other side of that if you have questions, concerns, or you’ve just decided help me break up for good. All right, ladies, next week is episode 100 of the podcast. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to share that with you. All right, until then.

After that episode, you might be wondering what’s next? Well, don’t worry, I’ve got you. You can do a couple of things right now. If you go into the show notes, wherever you’re listening to this podcast, I have links to my Instagram, my website, and you can get on my newsletter. I connect with you each and every week, so we can hang out on the podcast and in your inbox. If you just listened to this episode and you are ready to walk away from diet culture, but you’re not sure what the next steps are, book a free consult with me. You can do that by heading into the show notes or going to www.healthcoach4life.com. I have a limited availability for one-on-one coaching, and if it’s for you, grab your spot now.

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