episode97

HOW TO BE MORE CURIOUS –

For the last episode of season two I am sharing with you the key infusing more curiosity into your life and the number one reason why you need it so badly.

If you have found yourself increasingly judgmental of yourself this is the episode you have been waiting for. As a former ‘judge of all judges’ I know the shifts and changes that will occur when you start using my beginning method for inviting curiosity into your life.

If you find yourself judging your body or judging yourself for what you eat then my private coaching is perfect for you. Not only will you learn to remove judgement, but you will relearn what’s best for your body, reconnect with your body’s signals of hunger and fullness and ultimately redefine your health.

Apply for private coaching: www.healthcoach4life.com/apply

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey ladies, welcome to episode 97, how to be more curious. I’m excited to dive into this topic here on the health of life and more for women podcast. But before we do that, I want to take a moment of reflection. This is the last episode of season two. What? That’s so unbelievably crazy to me. I can remember when the first episode was airing and I can remember that feeling. I can even go back before that and tell you that the feeling of telling my husband, he was the first person to know this was happening and his response just stands out in my mind every single time I record on here. His response was, “I’ve been waiting for this it’s about time.”

He knew he knew this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. He was so encouraging to get this going. I wasn’t expecting that response. You know, when I send it, sent him the graphic and said, Hey, this is something I’m going to do. He’s like, let’s go. Where has this been? And since then he has listened to the last 96 episodes, all the bonuses and he has come on the podcast. I really can’t ask for more than that. I am grateful for every listener. Every single listener, every download I know is a human being. It’s not just some number on the screen. It’s a person. It’s you. And I’m so grateful. I’m grateful that you’ve been here for two seasons. I’m grateful that you’ve been here for two episodes and grateful that you’ve been here for the last, like two minutes that I’ve been talking. I am so honored and grateful that you tune in, that you download, that you listen to the podcast. 

I think it’s good to spend some time in gratitude, but I also think it’s been really good to spend some time over the past several months, really of thinking, where do I want to take this podcast? What do I want to do with this podcast? And I’ve been getting really, really curious about it. And here we are today talking about how to be more curious. I mean, you can tell why, because I’ve been living in the space of curiosity. Now I would say I generally live there anyway. This is part of the work that I do. It’s part of who I am. Very curious person. And I’ll tell you the number one reason why I choose to be curious is because it has taken the place of being judgmental. Yep. Super judgy judgy person kind of person. I don’t know if it’s in my personality. It’s who I was, but like judgment was my default. Now you might relate to that.

You might think, yeah, I do that all the time.I go right to judging others, myself like yup. Judgy, judgy person, however. When I really learned about the benefits of taking judgment out and putting curiosity in it changed my life. Now I know innately, don’t be judgy judges, and don’t be judge and jury. Stop judging yourself. Stop judging others. But like most things taking it out. Wasn’t enough. I needed something to fill the gap, put in that space. And that’s where curiosity came in. So instead of judging myself for something I did or did not do what I did instead was ask questions. So if you want to know how to be more curious, it is that simple ask questions.

And I usually start them with something like, I wonder why? I wonder why I decided to do that? I wonder why that was my thought? I wonder why my response was so harsh? I wonder why? I literally find myself asking this question, this curiosity question all the time. First of all, I want to dig deeper into my own thoughts. I want to understand the root of where everything comes from. Again might be innate to my personality, but let me encourage you that when you understand the root, when you get down to the nitty gritty right there, you can’t go any further. This is the answer. That’s where change can happen. That’s where that deep knowledge can make all the difference. If I understand the why behind something, I can either say, yup, this really fits with who I am. What I believe my morals, my character, my being, my business, all of that, or that’s not who you want to be, that does not fit at all. So what steps here could I take to reframe this or shift this, or look at this differently or respond in another way? Or maybe go back and ask for forgiveness.

Maybe go back and completely change what just happened. Okay, I can’t change what happened, but I can certainly amend and make peace with what happened. I bring this level of curiosity into. My coaching practice. I bring this into every session with my clients. I bring it into any messages between the two of us when they’re sharing information or something that happened because I want them to increase their curiosity because default mode has been judgment. Default mode has been to judge themself for what they did or did not do. That keeps them stuck that keeps them in a negative space that keeps them hurting themselves with their own thoughts. So when they remove judgment, when that becomes part of their practice, part of their day, part of their default, it really is where change happens.

I wonder why? What, what was that about? And get curious. Because when we take out judgment, I believe something needs to take its place. And when you get curious, instead of judgemental, you have a better understanding. Judgment is kind of like a hard stop period. End of sentence. Curiosity is like that.dot dot, dot, let’s see what’s next. I actually teach a concept, a it’s a grammar concept I use in my coaching practice. It’s called comma, but. Get curious to the other side of that sentence. 

Now, as a mom of four daughters, I also want to foster curiosity in my kids. I want them to be curious people, curious individuals in this world. That means they’re wondering. They’re wondering why, they’re wondering what. They are forming those roots. Some of the roots are already established. You know, I think those things happen really young and I want them to even go back to their own roots. I wonder why I think that way? I wonder why that comes up for me?

I wonder why I always respond that way? I wonder why I’m always getting in trouble for this same thing? I want them to be curious. So to help foster that in them. Instead of going right to judgment or even right to punishment. I’m going to ask the question. I wonder why that happened? I wonder why you chose that? I want them to take a look at their thoughts. Now we know that the brain is not fully developed. They’re going to have to be in their twenties for those consequences to even be thought of before they take an action. So knowing this, I can help them think after. I know we want them to think before. I know we want them to consider things and even go to the curiosity before they do something that’s just not going to happen. So let’s invite it after. 

Take a look at your thoughts, take a look at the process that your brain just went through. Where did that come from? I want them to be curious and I, I want them to be curious because I know what happens when we’re not. Judgment. It’s not just me. I hear it from women every single day. Default mode is judgment. Judgment for what I ate. Judgment for not doing something. Judgment for how I spoke to someone. Judgment for allowing this. So much judgment. And what I see happen in clients who start embracing curiosity is they start really seeing their thoughts and picking out this doesn’t fit ,this doe I accept this, I do not accept that. I’m okay with how this goes, because that’s who I am. It’s amazing what happens when we remove judgment and we become curious. So for you, one thing, just start asking, I wonder why? And I would say the tone in which you speak to yourself needs to be a curious tone. If that’s a thing, is that a thing?

That’s how I talk now. It’s not, I wonder why you did that. You know, we’re not harsh. It really is this exact way. I wonder why and start inviting that today. Short and sweet, but what a beautiful way to end season two of the health life and more for women podcast. I really look forward to joining you again here on the podcast next week for episode 98, which is the first episode in season three.

All right, ladies, until then.

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