episode93

WHAT IS THE LEAST INTERESTING THING ABOUT YOU? –

There are so many interesting, fascinating and wonderful things about you but unfortunately we live in a very weight centered world. More specifically, we live in a very thin centric world. It might be difficult for you to believe that your body is the least interesting thing about you because you spend so much time thinking about your own body. Listen in on this full episode about why the least interesting thing about you is your body and what you can do today to shift that focus.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Well, hey there ladies, or welcome back to the health life and more for women podcast. I’m your host, Jennifer D’Amato it’s episode 93, and I have missed you all. I have been on a break. I hope you’ve enjoyed the rewind episodes of the four-part marriage series and then a couple other things thrown in there, but it’s so good to be back.

Before we dive in any further on this amazing episode, I just want to let you know that my private intuitive eating counseling is open. I have three spots available for women who are just done with dieting. They’re done with all of the messages that dieting entails, which is you need to have a smaller body. You have certain rules you need to follow when it comes to food and movement of your body. You’re done. Those, those are my women. Those are the women who sign up to work with me to heal their relationship with food. It’s not just about intuitive eating. It’s not just about the 10 principles. It is about you. Customized coaching and counseling based on your needs, your history, where you are and what you desire for your health.

If you’re interested, don’t wait another moment because those spots, when they’re gone, they’re gone. Grab a consult call right now, head into the show notes, click book, a consult hop on a call. Let’s talk about where you are. Let’s talk about the struggles, but also where you want to be. That’s what I do. That’s what I’m here for. And I can’t wait to meet with you. Grab one of the three spots right now, and don’t stress. If you’re not listening to this in real time, which happens to be the second week of August, 2021. If that link is active, I have some availability to meet with you. So don’t wait, grab one of those spots. Let’s talk. 

Now let’s hop into this episode a which I’ve titled, what is the least interesting thing about you? Are you intrigued? I hope so. So, if you heard my episode before I went on break, you know that I’ve done a lot of traveling. I’ve been on the east coast three times in like six weeks. Jet lag was a real thing. But on this break, on these trips that I went on, I was seeing people. I mean, I haven’t seen in years, some of them, and we’re talking like a double digits. I have not seen them in it, least 10 years in person. It also included two weddings. The first was my brothers, right after hurricane Elsa dumped a massive amount of rain on the east coast.

And I’m pretty sure 90% of it was in my brother’s backyard where the wedding was to take place the next day. Oh yes, if you saw this on social media, I probably heard from you because it was a big, ‘oh my goodness’. A complete flood through the tent. Didn’t matter. They got married. It was so amazing, muddy feet and all. The second was my best friend to a wonderful, wonderful man. I actually had my best friend of well over 25 years on this podcast. If you check out episode 50, it’s titled Unlikely Best Friends. You can hear more about how we have such a successful long distance friendship. 

Now on these trips though, I noticed a recurring theme. People would insert a comment about their weight, like almost as part of their greeting to me like, “hi, it’s so good to see you, oh, I’ve gained so much weight since the last time you saw me.” I also heard one, “you probably didn’t recognize me because I’m so much heavier than the last time you saw me.” My response was always the same. It was along the lines of “I’m just so happy to see you”, but I will tell you these interactions left my brain firing on all cylinders.

Alright, I’m going to take you on a little story, adventure here, but I want you to follow me. Back when my daughters were itty-bitty I could not always keep the house as clean as I would have liked it. It definitely was a house filled with play and with fun and with freaking toys all over the place, I’ve always homeschooled, my kids have always been home and there’s always been a lot of toys involved. So what would happen is I would greet my friends at the door and immediately apologized for the mess. Even acknowledging the mess made me feel this sense of shame. Yes, I felt shame for my kids playing. It wasn’t until one of my very wise mentors looked at me and said, people come to see you, not your house.

It was like, she flipped a switch in my brain that had never been turned on. It’s actually a switch I didn’t even know existed until it was turned on. I stopped apologizing or even mentioning the mess in my house. Cause I assure you, the mess didn’t go away. My kids didn’t magically learn how to pick up toys at two years old, all on their own and think, oh, this is a messy place, we should have this all tidied up. Did my friends noticed the mass? Probably. Did it bother them? Maybe. Did I care? Not at all. Let me be clear, I care about my friends. I care about my time with them, but never once did I spend time feeling shame or guilt that my house was lived in, that my kids played. It disappeared. I let it go. Now, when I go to people’s houses, often, I hope they react the same way I did years ago. Apologizing or noting the mess. And of course, mess is a very personal viewpoint term, right? We all view what is a mess differently. Anyway, but my response to them is always the same. I don’t care. I came to see you.

Now at this point, you might be wondering, Jen, what does this have to do with what you were sharing before about people saying, “Hey, good to see you. I’ve gained weight. Hey, it’s so great to finally skew again. I know I look different.” I want you to hear this next thing that I’m going to say and let it sit for a moment. 

Your body is the least interesting thing about you. 

Did you sit with that for a moment? Maybe you needed to pause a podcast. Do you believe that that’s true? I actually think it’s really hard to believe that your body is the least interesting thing about you. Why? We live in a very weight centered world. More specifically, we live in a very thin centric world. It might be difficult for you to believe that your body is the least interesting thing about you because you spend so much time thinking about your own body. About your body size. Maybe about how it has changed. You might think often about what others are thinking about your body, even deciding ahead of time that someone is even thinking about your body. So you need to cut them off at the pass and let them know you are aware of your own body. Let me say it again, your body, and this includes your weight, your size, your shape, if and how it’s changed your body is the least interesting thing about you. 

You know, I have never read an epitaph or an obituary or listened to a eulogy where anyone talks about their loved one’s body. There are so many interesting, amazing fascinating things about a person that the least interesting thing to talk about is their body. In fact, the body becomes insignificant at that point. We don’t miss someone’s body when they are gone. We miss laughing with them. We miss how they made us feel. We miss creating memories with them. We miss their big personalities, their insight, their wisdom, their love. And if we do miss their touch, it’s not because of their body. It’s because of how we felt by their touch by those hugs by that embrace by that high five. 

Okay, I know this took a bit of a turn talking about eulogies and obituaries, but I hope it has you thinking about what you spend your time thinking about and apologizing for. You don’t have to apologize for the mess in your house and you don’t have to apologize for the space your body takes up in this world.

I want to challenge you if you have never done this before, take some time to list off what makes you interesting. What makes you unique and fascinating. What makes you, you. Now, it doesn’t matter if that list has five things or 50 things. I promise you, they are all more interesting things about you than the size and shape of your body.

Now I want to say that maybe there is something interesting and fascinating about your body. Maybe you’re a double jointed or extremely flexible. Like I always think of this kid, Eric, I was in school with and he could bend his knees backwards. Like it freaked me out, but I watched him do it every time. It was like one of those fascinating, crazy things. And really it made it very interesting that he could do this because I don’t really know anyone else who can. Haven’t met anyone who’s been able to pop their knees, both of them backwards. And that is really interesting. Maybe your body has overcome struggles, maybe it’s overcome pain or trauma, those things are not to be discounted.

And I want to encourage you, write those interesting and fascinating things, but also acknowledge the parts of you that made it possible to overcome the things in you that made it possible to try something new, try something that would be difficult. Write those things down that made it possible for you to persevere.

Now I could sit here and spend a whole episode just telling you how amazing your body is, how beautiful it is. That the space it takes up in this world is valuable and that we need all bodies, but I know that’s, that’s hard to swallow. You might not be at that place where you can accept that yet. And that’s okay. Start here. Start with seeing that it’s the least interesting thing about you. It’s the least fascinating thing. It is the thing that doesn’t need focus. Look at all of the other things that are more interesting, more fascinating. Highlight those, those things you want to be remembered for, for being a great friend for being a mom who listened, for being a sister who took time for her family, write those things down. For being the one with the craziest loudest laugh at the table. For being the most competitive Uno player in the family. Y’all you’re getting some insight onto me. Write those things down. That’s what’s going to be remembered. That’s what makes you interesting. That’s what makes you, you. 

Yes, your body is beautiful and powerful and wonderful. Yes, your body changes, but it is not the most interesting thing about you. Now in the context of the work that I do, as an intuitive eating counselor, I’m well aware of the type of world we live in. And I’m well aware of how weight centered, body centered this world is. So here’s my second challenge. Share this episode on social media. Share this on your social media feed. Let other women hear this. Because they live in the same weight centric, thin centric, body centric, weight focused fat phobic world we are in. Share this with your girlfriends, tell them what you find fascinating and interesting and wonderful about them when you share it. And then maybe we can have a greater impact on this world.

When you do share on social media, go ahead and tag health life and more for women podcast, you can find me on Instagram. You can find me on Facebook links are in the show notes. I want to celebrate you. I want to celebrate what makes you, you. So here’s to no longer apologizing for the mess in your house, the space you take up in this world and here’s to celebrating who you are.

Alright until next week, ladies.

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