episode100

EPISODE 100: THE BREAKUP LETTER –

How do I celebrate and show gratitude for making it to episode 100? I took time to really think about this and I believe that I found the best way. I get real, raw and honest with you and share the break up letter of all break up letters. Tune in and hear the letter I wrote to finalize my break up with dieting and what you can do if you want to break up with dieting too.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Episode 99: Is it a Break or Break Up?

Diet Tools Quiz

Apply for Coaching

Resources:

Podcast on Instagram 

Join My Mailing List

Shop Morning Motivation Journal

Connect with Jennifer on Social Media

@jennifer_healthcoach4life

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey ladies, it’s episode 100. We’re here?! I can’t believe it. Honest to goodness. I am over the moon excited, overwhelmed, humbled, grateful, all the feelings going into this. And with that in mind, I kept thinking what is a way to show my gratitude and to celebrate the 100th episode of the health life and more for women podcast? Well, I think I found it and it’s about as real, raw, honest and grateful as I can be. All right, let’s just get started. Welcome to the health life and more for women podcast. My name is Jennifer D’Amato. A certified, intuitive eating counselor, coach, mom of four lover of all things pink, and I want you to live your best health and your best life. I believe the way we can all do that is by finally walking away from diet culture by relearning what your body needs. Reconnecting with your body’s biological signals and redefining what health is on your terms. This show will shed some light on sneaky ways diet culture has infiltrated your thoughts, your family, and your wellbeing. My heart is that no matter the episode, you walk away feeling informed, inspired, and encouraged let’s go. 

So last week I gave you something to think about. Are you on a diet break or have you really broken up with dieting? The response already has been amazing. I woke up the morning that episode released to women who went and took the diet tools quiz right away. They got personalized responses from me. It came in this beautiful PDF. And I read every response and shared with them what I think is best to do next. Now you may have listened to that episode and said, well, I already know I’m still taking diet breaks. I’m not sure what that even looks like from a diet break to a full break up. And I thought, well, on this 100th episode, I’m going to share my full diet breakup. I have a letter I wrote. We’re going to get real vulnerable, real fast. I wrote a letter to dieting to break up. Like a full on breakup letter. I mean, is that something anyone does anymore? They probably don’t. They probably send a text like, oh, we’re done. Or they just ghost you, which is just wrong. And I didn’t do that. I wrote an old fashion breakup letter. Now I wrote this letter with no intention of getting back together. So that’s where the heart was in this letter. And it was very cathartic and it was very reflective. It brought tears when I wrote it, it made me like have to stop in the middle, well I would even say I stopped several times. It was more than just the middle. To just take a pause to take in what was coming up and out of me in this breakup letter.

 It also made me think of that movie, The Breakup. I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called. It’s Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. I mean, last week I’m referencing Jennifer Aniston in Friends and now in this movie and a lot of people didn’t like how that movie ended. And okay, I’m going to give a spoiler alert if you’ve never seen that movie, maybe you just skip like 3o seconds. Maybe a minute forward. Cause I’m about to tell you the, the ending. They do not get back together. The breakup is a real breakup. And in, during the movie, you’re kind of in this place where you think it’s that typical romcom and they’re going to get back together, but it’s over. 

This is kind of that feeling I had, because it was so many times I was living in the middle of that movie where I’m like, you think it’s going to be back together and actually you try to get back together and you’re, you’re still connected. And that was dieting for me. I just kept coming back until it was finally over. And I don’t know what the end of that movie, as much as I was surprised by it I had a sense of peace. Like it’s okay. They’re actually better off apart. That’s where I am. I have so much more peace now. I feel better. My body is larger than it was years ago, but I’m happier. I’m more content. I enjoy life. I live my life to the fullest and of course I help other women to do the same thing. So here we are 100 episodes of the podcast and I’m going to share something very vulnerable, very raw and very real .Here is the letter I wrote to break up with dieting.

Dear Dieting, 

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, but it’s over. Even though I don’t believe that I owe you an explanation, I will share my reasons because I need to capture them in time. It’s for me not you, which really is the truth about why I’m breaking up with you. I’ve spent years giving to you my time, my energy, more thoughts than I can remember. And in return you have not returned on my investment.

It seems like a lifetime ago when our relationship began, I was a teenager and felt very vulnerable. You took advantage of that. It was like, you could read my thoughts even then. You knew about my insecurities, about the size of my thighs, the shape of my face and the look of my midsection. You helped feed my beliefs that even in my still changing body, there was something wrong with me.

It was then that you introduced me to a shake for breakfast. I begged my mom to buy the instant shake mix, which I would only make with water for fear of what milk would do to me. It’s no wonder I would sit at the lunch table and watch what everyone else was eating. It’s like you knew I would see girls in smaller bodies, eating, whatever they wanted and it never seemed to affect them. Well, that’s what you wanted me to believe. And I did. I think it’s good when ending a relationship to expel all the bad, but also see if there is anything I can be grateful for about our time together. Though it’s not much, I will highlight the first of only a handful of good times we had together. 

It came my freshman year of college when I discovered step aerobics. It was like dancing and sparked joy from my childhood. At least for a little while. While I rediscovered joy and exercise, it was tainted with thoughts I thought were buried. Years of telling myself that my body had changed because I stopped dancing right as puberty was setting in. Even dancing was stained with body image issues. I stopped aerobics after freshman year. 

I do think there is something to say for falling in love. I spent several years less fixated on the problems with my body because I had someone who loved every inch of it. However, it was like a game of hide and seek. And eventually you found me again. You had me believing that every bride to be diets, you had my fiance believing he should too. His immediate success with losing weight only fed my belief that I had no willpower. I never blamed him. And even though I should have blamed you, I didn’t. I continue to blame myself. Sure, I wore the bikini on my honeymoon, but picked apart every inch of my body in every single photo. So many photos of my beautiful rings ruined by my belief that even my fingers were fat.

 You wouldn’t leave me alone even when I was pregnant. My first pregnancy was like a nine month long binge. I felt for the first time in my life, I had permission to eat whatever and whenever I wanted. So I did. I can see you clearly after that first pregnancy. And as soon as I was pregnant again, we were inseparable. I had little appetite, so I gained very little and you made me feel so good about it. I felt awful, but you made sure to comfort me. I was so sucked in at that point that it would be 10 years before I would see you for who you really are. In those years, you whispered in my ear daily, that food was the enemy. If you had said it blatantly, I may have seen you for the liar that you are, but you are sneaky, subtle and know my pain points.

The zone diet sucked all of my joy for food. Paleo made me feel like a failure. Cutting out carbs caused excessive consumption when I finally broke. No sugar made me sad. Social media didn’t need to be present for me to feel defeated in my health. You made sure I felt it every day I couldn’t stick to a plan. You even snuck your way into my naturopathic doctor’s appointment. You were with me on the scale and in her office. You sat beside me when she recommended yet another diet plan. It’s hard to blame her when she could clearly see we were together. Then everything changed. 

I thought you had changed. For a while I believed you are not the monster I had made you out to be. You weren’t a diet, you were a lifestyle. I fell for it hard. I thought I had finally seen a side of you that was what I had been waiting for my whole life. I was losing weight, working out hard. I even built a career out of your smooth talking. I really believed this was it. Everything I had ever wanted was going to be real, until it wasn’t. It was a Wolf in sheep’s clothing, a false flag. I had always thought you were obsessed with me, but it was me who became obsessed with you. I couldn’t get enough. I gave you more attention than anything else in my life. Every macro, every calorie, every workout, every moment was yours. You lied though. Not only was it not a lifestyle, it was the greatest let down. You promised me the world and delivered nothing.

Those negative thoughts didn’t disappear. Judging my body didn’t stop. If it wasn’t for a moment of clarity, I think we might still be together. You see, I took a real hard literal look in the mirror and saw it. It would never be enough. I could never lose enough weight to love myself. You see what you didn’t know was I had started cheating on you. Not in the way that you approved of, but I discovered intuitive eating and was spending time with it on the side.

I couldn’t tell you until I was sure it was for real. What intuitive eating gives me that you never could was accepting my body I am in right now. As the weight came back on, you fought hard for me, but you couldn’t compete with what I was experiencing with intuitive eating. It’s what gave me the courage to finally break up with you for good. It’s over. It’s done. We’ll never be together ever again. I know you won’t miss me. I know that you just move on to the next girl, to the next man to the next kid. I know that you won’t miss me at all. And let me tell you, I will not miss you. I’m no longer angry. I’m no longer sad, but I will tell you that I’m on a mission to make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to anybody else.

And to quote Taylor Swift, “I forgot that you existed. I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t.”

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Maybe you want to channel your inner middle school girl. You want to grab your Lisa Frank pens and notebooks and write out a letter. What if you wrote your own breakup letter with dieting? Let it all out. Put it on paper and say goodbye once and for all. Maybe you struggle with even the idea of putting pen to paper or as my dear friend would say pencil to paper, you do, you, you can type it out. I don’t care. But what if you actually spent the time? What if you saw what dieting has done to you? Now maybe your ending isn’t the same as mine.

Maybe you haven’t discovered what to do next. You’re not really sure. Your timeline kind of ends where you are now, and you feel like it’s just been this break again, because you want to break up. You don’t know what to do. Well, intuitive eating saved my life. It gave me back my life and I believe it can do the same for you. As an intuitive eating counselor I help women relearn what’s best for their body. Reconnect with their biological signals and redefine health on their terms. My three part process is personalized because you are an individual. It also considers your overall health, your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. You are an entire person. You are more than a body. So if that’s something you’re interested in learning more about head into the show notes or head to www.healthcoach4life.com./apply. You can learn more about my coaching, how I work with you, and it gives you an opportunity to fill out an application to talk with me.

Thank you so much for being here, listening to the podcast, celebrating episode 100 with me. Now, let me tell you 100 is a huge milestone, but I have so much more coming and I cannot wait to share it with you. Season three’s big. We are in triple digits. All right, ladies, until next week. 

After that episode, you might be wondering what’s next. Well, don’t worry. I’ve got you. You can do a couple of things right now. If you go into the show notes, wherever you’re listening to this podcast, I have links to my Instagram, my website, and you can get on my newsletter. I connect with you each and every week, so we can hang out on the podcast and in your inbox. If you just listened to this episode and you are ready to walk away from diet culture, but you’re not sure what the next steps are, book a free consult with me. You can do that by heading into the show notes or going to www.healthcoach4life.com. I have a limited availability for one-on-one coaching, and if it’s for you, grab your spot now.

 

want to improve your body image?
In just 5 days (Nov 28- Dec 2) you will have a new perspective on your body and have some new strategies and tools to help you keep improving your relationship with yourself and your body.

Leave a Comment